My First Earth Tremor

Early this morning, at 1am, I was on the phone with my pal Vinnie, gabbing about a date I had just been on (like how I threw that in?) - when both our flats started shaking. She heard a noise and was like, "Did you hear that?" and I was like, "hear what?" and she said, "sounds like rain, or like the boiler just kicked on." And I said, "OMG, my apartment is totally shaking, what's going on?! Is your apartment shaking??" and she was like, "Ya man, what's up with that?" And I said, "Wait, we live 45 minutes apart from each other, why are both our flats shaking?" And she said, "Maybe it's an explosion." And I said, "I think it's an earthquake!" Then, about 15 seconds later, it stopped. In true Brit fashion, Vinnie was like, "Ok, I'm going to bed, goodnight." And in typical American fashion, I freaked, picked up the phone, dialed my brother-in-law, and when he wasn't excited enough for my liking, I called my mom (who was sufficiently excited), and then I kept the BBC on and surfed the Internet until it was confirmed at about 1:35am that "Earth Tremor Felt Across Britain!" Epicentered (is that a verb?) up North in Lincolnshire, it was a 5.2 on the Richter Scale (which my colleague from Mexico City scoffed at today, proclaiming, "HA! That's Nothing!!!"). But for me it was totally something, because when you haven't felt the earth move before it is really something to behold. But that's about as much earth movement as I think I ever want to feel. I went to bed cautiously, but very excited to get to work this morning so we could all talk about, "What were YOU doing when the tremor happened??" But I must say the "stories" lasted far less time than the tremor itself and were not very interesting - seems I was the most excited of the bunch - and I am definitely the most nocturnal since most people simply slept through it (except those people near Lincolnshire of course, who had more shaking than the rest of us). No one was hurt though, thank goodness!

Here is the OFFICIAL news report from MSN UK:

A "significant" earthquake which hit the UK resulted in at least one injury and damage likely to run into millions of pounds.

The Association of British Insurers said that the cost of damage to homes and property is likely to be in excess of £10 million.

The tremor hit at around 1am and was measured at 5.2 on the Richter scale.

Its epicentre was near Market Rasen, Lincolnshire, but emergency services across the UK received calls following the incident.

The British Geological Survey (BGS) initially gave the magnitude for the 12.56am earthquake as 5.3 on the Richter scale but has now said it was closer to 5.2.

It said the centre was 8km east of Market Rasen, Lincolnshire, and 22km south west of Grimsby.

Seismologist Dr Brian Baptie of the BGS said: "This is a significant earthquake for the UK and will have been widely felt across England and Wales."

The BGS said it records around 200 earthquakes in the UK each year - an eighth of which are able to be felt by residents.

It said earthquakes of this size occur in the mainland UK around every 30 years but are more common in offshore areas.

Wednesday's quake is the largest since 1984 when an earthquake measuring 5.4 on the Richter scale shook the Lleyn Peninsula of north Wales and was widely felt across England and Wales.

For the Love of Dysfunction

I have a very warm spot in my heart for stories about dysfunctional families and relationships, which is best demonstrated by my deep love for Wes Anderson films; books by Jonathan Franzen ("The Corrections") and David Sedaris ("Naked" and "Me Talk Pretty One Day"); and any play by Arthur Miller or Tennessee Williams. I think this alone qualifies me as a person not many people would want to spend too much time with.

For those who don't know, Wes Anderson wrote and directed the movies "The Royal Tenenbaums," "The Life Aquatic" and most recently, "The Darjeeling Limited." And before anyone even knew who he was, he did a genius little film called "Bottle Rocket." His films are funny and quirky, for sure (you either love him or hate him). But what makes them truly special are the lovable yet oblivious dysfunctional people and families that take centre stage - mostly because there is always a kernel of truth in his over-intellectualised characters that make charming what in the real world would be seen as somewhat tragic or abnormal. All his stories involve misfits with substantial issues and differences, but who are trying (almost desperately) to connect with each other, whether they realise it or not.

I recently watched "The Darjeeling Limited" over the course of three plane rides spanning a couple months. First ride, the entertainment system broke down about half way through. Second plane ride, I picked up watching where I left off, but started too late and the plane landed before the ending. Third plane ride, I finally finished it...tucked into an airplane bed under a fluffy duvet, sleep suit on, eating a pear, and giggling infectiously before falling asleep (which I'm sure was great for the guy next to me). I was actually kinda sad when my airplane "series" had ended.

ANYWAY - the movie is about three grown brothers who recently lost their father, have been distant ever since, and then reunite on a wacked-out "spiritual" train journey across India in search of their mother - who didn't come to their father's funeral, but instead ran off to run a convent (in India). It's completely ridiculous, but you can feel the genuine affection between these people - even though they are all at odds with each other and completely unable to communicate. In one scene, the no-nonsense mother (Anjelica Houston) has them all sit in a circle and "communicate what they are feeling without saying anything" since they can't seem to manage a civil conversation - which turns out to be trippily successful (hmmm...need to try that next time I'm having a row with someone).

But I'll let you watch the movie yourself instead of me paraphrasing it, because I loved it and could seriously go on about it all night. The sets, scenery, music and colours are really magical - it's cinematic eye candy.

In the end, they quietly reconcile with each other and with themselves, even though they didn't proactively make it happen as planned, nor achieve what they hoped the way they hoped (lots went wrong, of course) - but they quite literally ditch their (not so) proverbial baggage and a resolve just kind of simply happened....I think, because at the end of the day, family wins out...no matter how weird and damaged they might be.

Then, last week, also on a plane, I watched the (very good) movie "Into the Wild" - another (more serious) film with a dysfunctional family and damaged son at the center. Toward the end of the movie, he befriends an elderly man who tells him, "When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God's light shines on you." I know, I know, right now you're thinking "Oh jeez CF, please just go back to the Bible Belt already!" (I am not from the Bible Belt, FYI) -- but I really liked that.

So, with all THAT said (the Bible Belt, Darjeeling Limited, airplanes, Wes Anderson, duvets, pears, forgiveness and love), I think I have finally started to understand that there truly is no such thing as a perfect family without issues - the kind I used to swear existed when I looked at the surface of my friends' seemingly shiny home lives. And sure, there are all different levels of dysfunction and residual damage. But what I think I am getting closer to understanding these days is that it's not about trying to change people - or yourself for that matter - in order to mend your wounds and get over it. And furthermore, it's not about wishing and waiting for those closest to you to change while pretending they are something they are not.

I think it all simply comes down to acceptance. Beautiful, simple acceptance (I think that's what people used to do in the old days before credit cards and prozac). Accepting things and people for exactly what and who they are, 100 percent, right now, loving them anyway (at least as much as they love you, which is probably a lot), and getting on with it. Not sure that's as easy as I just made it sound, but today and the people in it are all we have, so we should probably do what we must to make ourselves happy...because no one else can ever do that for us.

This doesn't mean we have to like and approve of everything everyone does, but it seems a hinderance to dwell on the negative and what could be. Sometimes, what IS, no matter how screwy, can actually be ok, if you just look at it from the right angle - which perhaps is no angle at all, but straight on. And if someone is truly harmful or bad for your emotional and/or physical well-being, you must find the strength to let them go, block them from hurting you, and move on.

And this is what I've learned from Wes Anderson films.... :)

I read something funny in Esquire (my new favourite magazine) this month about getting "closure" in a relationship that has ended. The columnist, Stacey Grenrock Woods says, "Ceremonious closure isn't necessary.....(quoting psychologist James Tobin)...it is largely a myth, since it suggests that one's emotional life works in a linear fashion. The end of a relationship is a discreet event that involves somebody and another person, but also one's relationship with one's self....Should someone request closure from you, just say you are currently journaling your journey and don't know when you'll be done, if ever. Get used to unsatisfying endings."

Though speaking specifically about romantic relationships, this applies to dysfunctional family residue as well. I mean, some people spend tens of thousands of dollars in therapy over the course of their lives to get some sort of "closure" and resolve to family matters. Perhaps the takeaway here is to try and accept the unsatisfying endings and circumstances in your life for exactly what they are - so that you don't falter in truly living in the moment now - waiting for things to become ideal, and thereby depriving yourself of the happiness that (I think) we all deserve.

And as a guy I was out to dinner with last night said, "I don't think I would hire somebody who wasn't from a broken home." Ok, maybe that's taking it all a bit too far, but he seems to believe that broken home credentials bring some sort of merit and savvy to being successful at a challenging job (no worries all you Ozzie and Harriet types, I think the jury's still out on that one).

I wonder if there really IS a Darjeeling Limited. If so, a train ride through India might very well be my next holiday. But for now, I have started letting go of all the years I fought dysfunction (which is totally subjective, by the way) and am just trying to embrace it. Actually, I think I may have already started to love it.

Total Eclipse of the......

MOON. Ha - As if you thought I'd be quoting that cheesy 80s song...pu-leese!



So, yes, tonight, at the tip-off from my colleague Christina (who got the tip-off from her husband over dinner via mobile phone text), I watched a bit of the last total lunar eclipse until 2010 -- from my friend Adeena's front step on Central Park West (I'm in NYC again). I missed the full monty (I was in a cab in Times Square, not good viewing conditions) but caught a bit of the umbral shadow action afterwards (very dark, smoky hazy currents moving over the moon like a big shadow). Are you impressed with my vocab? (Space.com baby!) I wanted to watch more, but had just come from dinner and really had to go to the bathroom and darn! it's cold outside, so I am now inside, warm, cosy and snacking on some Haagen-Dazs from Adeena's freezer (she is a recipe developer, food writer and chef so her refrigerator is always a good time for me).

I am here all week for work and rather crazed, but got to have dinner with Molly Saturday night and had a spa day on Sunday with Rosanne (who I will also be partying with tomorrow night). Had a two hour Thai Massage Ritual -- BLISS! I have gotten to see some other assorted friends and colleagues which is always good. But man o man is it windy and cold here. Can't beleive I'm saying this, but I do beleive I am now partial to London weather.

Ugh, SICSA (Sudden Ice Cream Stomach Ache)...

....ok, back from putting the Haagen-Dazs back in the freezer, where it belongs.

As per usual, I can't decide if I miss NYC or not. A reoccuring and subtle perplexion. Always love being back here and it's all so familiar and normal again like I never left, but it's just not mine anymore somehow. Which is ok, I get back often enough that visiting is just fine. But it's still odd, I go to the same old places I always did - but they just don't feel the same.

Guess New York's been eclipsed by London. And I think the "umbral shadow" will somehow last more than 4 hours. But that's ok, eclipses happen....something is always going to overshadow something else. That's life....that's what makes it interesting. Who knows where I'll be watching the next one from in 2010!

Air God: Logging Miles to Judgement Day

So, I was just pitching sermon ideas to my hometown minister in the U.S. (Father Jessee/or "FJ" as I call him) when I came up with a brilliant new Internet application idea:

-It's a downloadable digital application (for Internet, mobile phone and Blackberry use)

-Each time you do a deed, you log it into the system, and it assigns and accrues "frequent flyer" points toward either your ticket to heaven or hell based on the good or evil merit of your deed and the circumstances surrounding it

-At any given point in life, you can see how your fate is stacking up and if you're headed to heaven or hell

-There will be a "sin-offset" system (like carbon-offsetting which the airlines now offer) whereby you can neutralise your bad deeds by doing something good (or, you can just make an online donation to the church of your choice and all your sins will be instantly wiped clean, but there is a pricey minimum donation level for that)

-The system would be programmed by a high level of priests, ministers, ethical thoughtleaders and other credible prophet-like people

-An alert system will be put in place so that if you're leaning toward the ticket to hell, a scary alarm goes off on your phone/blackberry to warn you and suggest immediate deeds for sin-offset

-And as a rewarding reminder for good work and a leaning towards heaven - the alarm will sound that famous chorus from Handel's Messiah that everyone likes (The "Hallelujah!" one)

-The application will be linked to a social network like Facebook, where you can see the real-time fates of all your friends and review their top 10 best and worst deeds ever (actually, it could warrant its own social network called "Fatebook")

....And this would be launched via a high-profile PR campaign with Oprah and LaRue (my Grandma) as the spokespeople, since they have personal friendships with God and can probably speak on his/her behalf.

I think this could possibly get more PR attention than that "Red" campaign that Bono and that Kennedy guy created.

And NOW you see why I [should] make the big bucks!!!

Roller Disco, Baby!

Friday night I went out with the girls to Roller Disco (at Vauxhall in London). At first, it was hard to believe roller skating ever came naturally to me, but within an hour I had found my groove again. It's worth going for the 80's garb alone....good times.

My First Pub Quiz

Pub quizzes are an English institution - and one - until tonight - that I had yet to experience. But my friend Olly (who seems to get a lot of play in this blog) changed all that when he invited me to join a team of real-life English people at the "Night of Champions" pub quiz at the Hurlingham Pub on Wandsworth Bridge Road.

Now, I am not a pub quiz champion - that would be quite impossible given I have never participated in one before. But clearly they were not checking credentials at the door. I arrived just in time to a flurry of camera crews and exited people drinking beer - and the first question was asked two seconds after arriving at my table (I was running very late coming from work at Canary Wharf - the stupid Jubilee Line had been shut down and the DLR was only running one way). 

I made some impressive contributions within minutes. "What is the current U.S. President's middle name?" OOOH I know that - WALKER! "Who was the infamous woman who made news for cutting off her husband's...." OOOOH I KNOW, LORENA BOBBIT!!!!!!!

And.....that was precisely the END of my pub quiz contributions. Later on, I very passionately insisted on two answers I just KNEW were correct, but they were not. (The movie themeline "It's never too late to turn it all around" is from the film "8 Mile," NOT "Vanilla Sky." And Mr. Selfridge coined the phrase "The Customer is Always Right," NOT Mr. Woolworth). I SWEAR I thought the Americans invented customer service.

We ended round one with 10 answers correct out of 25. And I don't think we even got 5 answers from round two. I spent the entire second half only focusing on an anagram we never solved - why did I not see that the letters that form the word "consumerist" also form the word "misconstrue" ??

But despite finishing at the back of the pack, I now know lots of crap that I did not know before. Like, there are 27 cards in a Tarot deck. And Sophia Loren was the first actress to win an Oscar for a foreign-language film. I SHOULD have remembered that scarebs are also known as "dung beetles" and fruit stewed in sugar is a "compote" - but those facts had temporarily escaped me. Until the answers were read at least.

The quiz ended in a tie-breaker between two teams of impossibly dorky men. And an infuriating man named "Just Ralph" or something like that managed to come in third all on his own. Seriously people, get a life already (not that I'm bitter or anything).

I am grateful to my British teammates for letting me take part in this humble-pie eating contest - even though Olly somehow suckered me into paying for his dinner and beer when it was all over.