The TV Police

I received a rather threatening letter in my mailbox yesterday from the TV Licensing Board. It was addressed to the previous resident of my flat saying that my apartment was under investigation for not paying the TV licensing fee. The letter goes on to say that they are watching me and that this is a serious offense with a £1,000 fine for offenders.

What the....? Well, In the United Kingdom, citizens must pay a licence if they own a television set. Not for cable or satellite, just for the regular old 5 channels you get when you plug the set in. The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) is a government agency that has the power to tax and enforce laws. In order to obtain funding, the BBC requires that anyone using its services must pay for them. The annual cost (set by the government) is currently £126.50.

But you say, "Ha! Try and PROVE that I'm watching the tele," right? Well, they have the means to enforce it too! Government enforcers (who I like to call "The TV Police") actually patrol the streets of England in vans rigged with cutting-edge technology that can detect when a TV is on inside a home that has not paid the TV license. Then, when an offender is identified, they come knocking on your door to catch you in the act and slap you with the hefty fine! I visulize this to look like the high-action drug busts I've seen on the TV show "Cops," but with people scrambling to flush the TV down the toilet instead of the drugs. Hey, this would make for some quality reality TV here in the U.K.!

So, needless to say, I took care of this little situation first thing this morning. The last thing I need are the TV police to come knocking on my door as I'm suffering through one of the very bad, low-budget American movies from the early 1980s that the BBC makes available each evening (last night they aired the Burt Reynolds classic "Every Which Way But Loose" -- I rest my case).

I am curious though, what do the "TV police" uniforms look like?