Toilet Trouble

There's something I really have trouble with over here. It's saying the word "toilet." In England, as in most of Europe, people refer to the "bathroom" as the "toilet." Often times, "bathroom," "restroom" and even "ladies' room" do not carry any meaning...the whole room is considered "the toilet," not just the fixture itself (I can say the word comfortably when referring to the thing, just not the place.) Even in the nicest of restaurants and shops, it is perfectly acceptable and decent to ask where the toilet is. In America, this would seem a bit crass (at least, I think so, hence the discomfort).

I don't know why this is so hard for me, but when I am in a public place, like a restaurant, I cringe to have to say the word when asking for directions. The word is literally hard and painful for me to form. In England, you can also say "loo," which I had been doing for some time, but a friend told me recently that is sort of a low-brow word to use. I have no idea if this is true, but I've stopped saying it anyway.

Restrooms in England are labeled "WC" for "water closet." But I don't think anyone actually says "water closet," so I have taken to saying "WC." But that only works in England, and even here, I never hear people actually say "WC."

This weekend, when I am in Paris, it is inevitable that if I plan to visit the ladies' room and need directions, I must say "toilet" again, so I am practicing. Especially since I don't speak a lick of French.

My reaction to saying this word is completely third-grade -- when I say it, I get a little warm, my face turns red, and I break into an uncomfortable giggle. I visibly cringe. Which only makes me seem creepy and weird to the person I am asking. So, I practice often -- in the privacy of my own home, saying it to the mirror, asking for directions -- concentrating all the while not to bat an eyelash. I think the true test of my fluency here is to be able to ask where the toilet is (see, I can barely write it!) without feeling the need to run and hide.