I Speaka French!

Ok, well, not exactly yet, but tonight was my first class of a 20-week beginners French course. I figure since I go to Paris just about every month these days, I should learn to say something in the language. Someone once told me (actually, several people have told me) that because I know some Spanish, French will be a zip. But guess what -- that is complete crap. French is totally hard. And despite my weak attempts to learn some vocabulary and verb conjugations before visits, whenever I try to put it to use in France I am stared down coldly for several uncomfortable minutes before the highly annoyed and insulted French person I am speaking to begins shouting English back at me until I slink away. But not for long!

So, my company has graciously brought in an instructor from the Institut Francais here in London to teach us the basics at a pleasantly discounted rate. There are 8 of us in the class, which will meet every Monday here at the office. Our instructor's name is Alexi. He is a very nice and patient man with gray hair. Oh, and we have workbooks...I love workbooks.

About 5 minutes into the class, after being spoken to (in French) and having not understood one single thing, I was signalled out as the first person to speak (in French). I had to say "My name is Catherine." When I tried to repeat after Mr. Alexi and say it, everyone laughed at me. It's really funny how I think I'm really cool, but after a small incident like this, I want to cry, kick the teacher and run away and hide (like I did in tap class once when I was 6). Very humbling these language classes.

So, an hour and a half later, I can now sort of tell someone what my name is and say "hello" and some other basic greetings. I can't spell, write or read any of it, but I can sort of say it. I also learned the verb "to be" (Être) and am now familiar with the alphabet, although I cannot pronounce my Es and Us properly ("oooh" and "eeew," or something like that). But I have a whole week to practice and perfect before advancing to the next level.

I figure it's probably another 2-3 weeks before I'm dreaming in French and forgetting my English. I will conquer this language -- with an espresso in one hand and a pain au chocolat in the other! And then, the French people will love and adore me. France will make me their goodwill ambassador. I'll arrive at the Gar du Nord to cheering crowds. I will make the poets cry with my perfect accent. The Musee D'Orsay will give me a Renoir as a gesture of gratitude for learning to speak their language so well. They'll name a street after me in Saint Germain des Pres...my efforts will not be in vain!

Au revoir.